You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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