with your own penis?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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