Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
