More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
my phone needs a breathalizer
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
