She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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