He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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