he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
My pussy is not your playground.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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