well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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