Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Your cock deserves a montage
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
