i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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