Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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