Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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