You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
