We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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