I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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