It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
