I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
