Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
