I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
