escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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