You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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