I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
It's blow job season.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
