you turned your livingroom into a bong?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
they call him Oral-B. enough said
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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