Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
