But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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