I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
