I wannas sexs uuuuu
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
