I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Everclear isn't food dammit
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
