I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize