Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
