dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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