I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
