The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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