My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
