lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
