I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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