He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
