But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
