so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
In America we eat man semen.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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