yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
