Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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