Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Randomize
