I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
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Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
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