so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
It was confusing and full of hummus
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
