We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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