just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
