Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
