speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Randomize
