I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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