Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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