If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
