dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
im about as happy as oj after his trial
this boner is exhausting
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
