Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
