He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
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