'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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