i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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