So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
