You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize