She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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