people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
