Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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