One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
