Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
